I'm about to lose my mind. You've been gone for too long.

It's been 3 years. 

Yeah, 3 years. 

I don't even know if I deserve to miss you, but I do. 

What makes things worse is that I try to make myself forget. 

=.= Yeah, It wasn't my fault; that's what everyone wants me to think. 

I'm innocent. The backstabbing, the lying........not my fault? Screw that. One thing I'm sure though, it was never his fault. He just got caught in the middle of this mess. 

Hahaha. Reading what I just wrote up there ^ 

It makes no sense. What am I even trying to say? I have no idea. 

I'm about to lose my mind. 

He's been gone for too long. 

I need a doctor. 

Bring me a doctor, to bring me back to life. 

I'm dead inside.  

Being random. 

I dreamt of him last night. 

Nightmare.

I dreamt that during our argument that night, instead of you accidentally falling, I pushed you out of anger and that everyone saw me pushed you. So I was guilty. 

But it was only just a dream...

Thinking back, it was all such a blur that night. Did I really push you?

Maybe I did, but according to everyone present that night, you fell.

But I did push you. Not physically, but emotionally.

I'm sorry. 

Dreams.

That's the only thing that keeps me connected to you.

Good or bad, at least I get to see you, to touch you.

It may only all be in my mind, but it's real enough. Yeah, that's it. It's enough.

Ugh, I'm losing my mind. :'(